“I Want to be Superwoman!”

Somehow I just can’t totally unpack my birthday box… They make me so happy; little love letters from the world!: scraps of paper, unused & used postcards, unused & used birthday cards, different blue hued pastels, a cardboard part from an Elvis Costello album, black tea with oil of bergamot & lavender from Dina, a small Marilyn Monroe zip-purse, a pink Baskin Robbins spoon, blue heart-shaped post-it notes, white-pink candles, busted balloons by Roselyn, Asna, Syafiq & I, party poppers, Queen Latifah perfume sample, wrapping paper, blue string, a musical box, discount coupons for massages & a rainbow skull pen! Most of the things I packed myself; others were presents/gifts from family & friends.

I start work on Monday & I’ve printed out some things work-related. I’m nervous-excited, though things aren’t as escalated as they can be yet. (Wait for Sunday night!). I’ll be working with a human-rights organization concerning issues I’m passionate about. As the saying goes, “Do what you love; the money will follow” and “Do what you love; you’ll never have to work a day in your life”. There’s a scary thing about it, though… At the back your mind, there’s a little devilish voice that says, “Hehe, wait & see, you silly optimist…”.

"Nobody Loves Me!"

But that’s just a hint of lunacy talking. I know better. After my readings of inspiring blogs & going through volunteer experiences, here are 5 things I’m mustering up for Monday & the sixty or so days ahead:

1. Don’t expect too much, just do & be. It is what it is,… depending on how you look at it & how you want it to be.

2. On good days, smile. On bad days, laugh it off. Good or bad, you always have a home to return to, a comfortable bed to lie on.

3. Remind yourself why you’re here. Remind yourself you have a right to be here.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t know. Regardless of what they say, ignorance is not a weakness, and knowledge is not the only strength. There’s passion & experience. Use it.

5. Besides your work, always find time. -To eat, to breathe/take a break, to meet new people, & to say “please & thank you”.

I’ve always believed that people can receive great advice… if only they were to listen to themselves. I don’t like calling anyone a hypocrite (would I like to be called one?), or calling people a contradiction of themselves… Sometimes we tend to be in a bad mood, or down & so we pick on others & say that they’re the cause for us feeling so-and-so. In reality, we do this when we feel like we’re not in ultimate control of things.

I remember someone telling me when I was younger that no one can force you to do anything. So no one can force you to feel sad, or happy, or angry. At the end of the day, we choose what to wear, what to feel, who to be with. So wear it, or donate it. & I believe that if no one should feel the way you’re feeling, then we shouldn’t be the pity party, or play Superman or Superwoman in this either.

Every single day, we grow an hour, a minute, a second older. So I don’t think I’ll empty out my birthday box yet. This ensemble of prettiness lets me celebrate the sunlight, the shadow, the moon, the howling wolf, the crying cat, & all the colourful rainbow creatures in this world & beyond . . .

I don’t want to be Superwoman. I just want to be Super!

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